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Anonymous — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 13:54:25 CDT

cool

Welcome to the Original

FunnyBoneOnline Website

(Hang Around Just For Laughs)

Let's Continue To Think About This Situation

You have logged onto a Web site that is for those who work for a living.

If you are a typical worker you loathe Monday mornings and look forward with baited breath to each week-end.

Late Sunday evenings you begin thinking about the inevitable...the return to work!

You deal with it by sweating, getting a tight sensation in the pit of your stomach, and kicking the dog.

In a moment of final desperation you jump in your car and head for the nearest Terminex office.

It's here, filling out an employment app., that you regain sanity and realize the old job isn't so bad after all.

This site is dedicated to you. The worker. The one the boss directs, criticises, sweats, pounds on, and ignores when things are going well. You, the unrepresented, the lone voice that cry for more pay and receives nickel coffee in a used paper cup. You're the one who must take out a second mortgage to pay the baby sitter and cover gasoline costs. You're the one the politicians court and when elected turn their back. You. This site is for you. So take heart. There is someone in your corner who knows exactly what you go through every week in that situation loosely defined as a JOB.

To cheer you up here are a few thoughts you probably wanted to say to the boss at one time or another and just couldn't:

"Hey Boss Man. When you enter a room the walls melt."

"When you open your mouth I go to sleep."

"You look like a project ran over you."

"If I had a dime every time you opened your mouth I'd be rich."

"After your mother gave birth she should have sued for malfeasance."

"I heard your brother got a job as a monkey in the zoo."

"Did you say something or was that just your brain belching?"

"I see you decorated your office in early disaster."

"If I had your bank account I'd be under Federal Indictment."

That's just a few comments but you understand what I'm trying to express here. So go now and walk softly, belch quietly, talk with proper cringing demeanor, and always always bow before His/Her Majesty the BOSS!

Gun Scare Statements

Anonymous — Thu, 21 Jun 2007 14:16:54 CDT

Scary comments made by people who don't understand firearms.

1. Why are these things legal?
2. Is this the trigger?
3. I thought trigger was a horse.
4. Which end do you look through?
5. Which end does the bullet come out of?
5. Hey look! It turns into a crutch.
6. Why is this part called the hammer?
7. It doesn't look deadly to me.
8. Why is this thing called the widow maker?
9. How do you play Russian roulette?
10. Let me get this straight. I don't point it at you and pull the trigger? Not even in jest?

If you hear anyone make any statement like these or close to them, take the gun and run.

Good Reasons for Having $90,000 in Your Freezer

Dagwood — Mon, 18 Jun 2007 15:17:36 CDT

Inspired by the antics of Congressman William Jefferson (D La).

1. I only work with cold, hard cash.
2. I don't want to leave a paper trail.
3. It makes me feel secure.
4. It's quite an ice breaker.
5. It impresses the ladies.
6. It's easier to store than guns.
7. It muliplies rapidly with drugs.
8. Who needs food?
9. Money will buy anything. ANYTHING!
10. It greases a lot of wheels.
11. It's my pension plan.
12. I cashed out my bank account.
13. If I put it in the bank I'll have to pay taxes.
14. It makes me feel good.
15. It's an aphrodisiac.

As you can see there are many good reasons for the honorable Congressmsan to have all this cash stored in his freezer. So what's the big deal?