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Jul 12 2008, 2:54 PM EDT
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Change: "I heard your brother got a job as a monkey in the zoo.""Did you say something or was that just your brain belching?""I see you decorated your office in early disaster.""If I had your bank account I'd be under Federal Indictment."That's just a few comments but
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May 2 2008, 8:42 PM EDT
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Change: If you were really all that good looking wouldn't somebody important be knocking on your door trying to get alongyou atto thesign a dog food contract or Officesomething?If ityou rings,were putreally itall onthat hold;Itsmart wouldn't somebody important be
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Mar 16 2008, 11:30 PM EDT
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Change: a dime anymore." Yogi Berra.12."I I'mam gettingnot aafraid tattooof today.13.death, I just Let'sdon't legalizewant allto illicitbe drugs.14.there Somebodywhen poisonedit thehappens." waterWoody hole.Allen.15."It's Ia reallyscientific digfact wrinkles.
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Feb 18 2008, 8:25 AM EST
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Change: I'm just standing here with my teethI inreally yourdig pocket.punk. 12. I'll take shuffle boardI'm overgetting a slot machinetattoo any day.today. 13. MyLet's kneeslegalize areall foreverillicit young.drugs. 14. I wantSomebody a piranhapoisoned inthe my
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Jan 23 2008, 10:45 AM EST
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Change: to build excercise.muscle. 8. I don't need your stinking discount. 9. No free lunch for me. 10. No, let me pay for dinner. 11. I'm just standing here with my teeth in your pocket. 12. I'll take shuffle board over a slot machine any day. 13. My
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Jan 23 2008, 10:42 AM EST
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Change: So now you're in and shedding the heavy coat which protected you from the bitter cold outside but is helpless in dealing with its counter
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Jan 2 2008, 10:35 AM EST
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Change: way you stumble across your counter-parts and exchange pleasantries about the thingpast grewholiday outseason. ofYou control.know Wethe aredrill. nowYour experiencingtelephone anbegins -out-ringing of-and control-you on-hear the-it edge-clearly meltdown-from threateninga spectaculardistance event
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Nov 29 2007, 2:59 PM EST
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Change: is the retail establishment, just as it was invisionedenvisioned by H.R. so many years ago and now morphed by greed, lust, and all those vices that make life the overly sweet punch it becomes.becomes when the narcissistic are in charge.
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Nov 29 2007, 2:55 PM EST
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Change: is found in aModern stew pot." Derbie BrownChristmasRodney Dangerfield"IYou camemay fromnot abelieve realthis toughexplanation neighborhood.but I putswear myas handan ineyewitness somethat cementeverything andyou feltwill anotherread hand."Stuffherein Motheris
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Oct 25 2007, 9:00 PM EDT
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Change: "At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the"I world.came When hefrom isa seventyreal hetough stillneighborhood. wantsI toput reformmy thehand world,in butsome hecement knowsand hefelt can't."another hand."
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Sep 22 2007, 9:13 PM EDT
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Change: The World"In general, life is better than it ever has been, and if you think that, in the past, there was some golden age of pleasure and plenty to which you would, if you were able, transport yourself, let me say one single word: 'dentistry.'" -- P.J. O'Rourke
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Sep 22 2007, 9:07 PM EDT
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Change: is knowing it's true. Once an animal is "kicked" out of the nest it's out for good. Not so for us humans. Oh well, that's the way of the not so innocent.passed.Dear George:I keep hearing about4. theHave sexualyou revolution.ever Whenwalked didinto
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Sep 2 2007, 7:59 PM EDT
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Change: mysticmystique or perhaps faux sophistication. It's laughing at someone else while being relieved it isn't happening to you.Humor is also about mis-direction. The set up line gets you moving in a certain direction
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Aug 22 2007, 6:03 PM EDT
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Change: Order out?Somemore Lame Thoughts About Humor.The thing that makes people laugh is the odd remark or the embarassing gaff. Sometimes it's exposing oneself by accident and being
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Aug 22 2007, 5:58 PM EDT
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Change: 1. The sky is up there and the ground is down here, and we're living in between. Somewhat like living between a rock and a hard head.2. What's the difference between a right wing and a buffalo wing? Credibility. You can believe a buffalo.3. What kind
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Aug 22 2007, 5:42 PM EDT
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Change: This isn't so much mis-direction as it is knowing it's true. Once an animal is "kicked" out of the nest it's out for good. Not so for us humans. Oh well, that's the way of the not so innocent.Dear George: I keep hearing about
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Aug 22 2007, 5:33 PM EDT
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Change: 4. Why would anyone name their baby "Rick"? Isn't a rick one-fourth of a cord? Or is a cord one-fourth of a rick?5. Be iconoclastic and serve turkey at Easter, ham at ThanksgivingSomemore and,Lame pineThoughts atAbout Christmas.Humor.6. Since it's illegal to sterilize human
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Jul 27 2007, 9:31 PM EDT
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Change: Griffin funny? Perhaps it's just the outrageousness of saying out loud what others may be thinking but don't have the courage to utter aloud. Help me out here. What makes her style of comedy funny? "There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty." Joe E. Lewis.
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Jul 21 2007, 12:41 PM EDT
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Change: 5. "I sure hope inflation goes up."6. "I sure hopeThe theChurch priceBulletin"Members of gasolinethe increases."7.outreach "Whatcommittee wewill needmake todaycalls ison morepeople excercise."8.who "Iare don'tnot wantafflicted thewith seniorany discount."church."
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Jun 30 2007, 9:08 PM EDT
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Change: or ride it, or eat it, just shoot it.2. If it has four legs and a tail it's either a horse, a cow, or you're seeing double.3. A cowboy said to his kid who was having trouble in school, "Don't worry kid, you're smarter than the average goat.
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